God can handle your disappointment.
Four years ago today, I was dealing with the deepest depth of disappointment I’d ever felt in my relationship with God. It felt like my heart had been broken, and every time I thought I was at my lowest, I’d find out that there was lower still. That night, I drove to Birmingham to go see Kari Jobe live at a Wednesday night service. During the service, Kari talked about her own disappointments with her sister losing her baby. She said one night she was standing in her kitchen, watching her husband lead worship and she heard the Lord say, “You know, I can deal with your disappointments.”
Never in my life had I known that God could handle me being disappointed. I wanted to shield Him from my pain. I didn’t want to hurt Him by what hurt me. I wanted to only bring Him good things, not the ugly, and certainly not things that made me seem/feel ungrateful. I sank to the floor and cried, and wrote in my journal what I felt like the Holy Spirit was telling me in that moment — what I believe He’s telling many people who are still feeling the depths of lower still:
The Lord says,
“‘I am coming for your fears.
I am coming for your disappointments.
You are not far from me.
I never pushed you away.
That wasn’t me that wouldn’t touch you at your lowest.’
‘If I go down to the realm of the dead, you’re there too!’ (Psalms 139:8b TPT)
I see this picture of the Lord, and He sees me on this path. As I continue on, He’s always one step ahead. In moments where I reach my lowest, He’s literally there, waiting on me, & He’s saying, ‘I’m here.’
‘I’m here for you.
Right now, in this place, I am here.
I’ve been here the entire time.
I am full of love for you.
I am so in love with you, and I promise wholeness.
I am not intimidated by your disappointments.
You are not alone.’”
“Now may God, the inspiration and fountain of hope, fill you to overflowing with uncontainable joy and perfect peace as you trust in him. And may the power of the Holy Spirit continually surround your life with his super-abundance until you radiate with hope!”
Romans 15:13 TPT
