& you will find rest for your soul.
I recently moved into a new place, and I LOVE it. I have spent almost every off day finding something to decorate, rearrange, or fix. I have invested a lot of time [and money] into my new place because I’ve wanted it to feel like home.
I haven’t even been there an entire month, but last week, I was coming in from visiting a friend, and as I stepped off the elevator, I stepped into a pool of water. The laundry room had flooded, and water was everywhere. I kept praying that no water had gotten into my apartment, but shortly after stepping in, I saw that my apartment was also flooded.
Immediately, I felt this deep sadness come up, and I found myself struggling to contain my emotions. I kept thinking that I was simultaneously okay, thinking, “Nothing looks too bad. There’s a few things that have water, but nothing too bad,” while I was also internally counting the losses and thinking “This all seemed too good to be true. Why did I get so settled into this?”
Do you guys ever have moments like that? Moments where everything is going well, then the first moment something rocks your world, thoughts rise to the surface that you didn’t even know were in you?
I went back and forth with that internal struggle for about an hour while I was cleaning up water, battling between the grief of “Good things aren’t meant for me” and annoyed with my “drama”, thinking “I’m literally okay. It’s not even that bad.”
(Good news: Nothing was lost. No serious damage. Just obnoxiously loud fans and dehumidifiers for the last 5 days which are making their way back home tomorrow. Yay!)
I’m very grateful that nothing was lost, but that situation sat with me for days. Though nothing was severely damaged, I couldn’t shake the grief of it all. The flooding had revealed some lies that I was believing about myself, and ultimately, God.
What I’ve found over the years is that the simplest of situations can bring up DEEPLY rooted things, and if we’re not intentional about processing those things with the Lord, they become the lens in which we see the world. I’m sure that at the root of why some people have made a vow to never trust again, or why others are so sarcastic is the simple fact that there is some hurt that was never fully worked through. Processing is not always easy — In fact, it is one of the hardest things to continually do because there is always something. But do you know what we find on the other side of our pain? A God who cares.
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls” (Matthew 11:28-30)
By no means am I an Emotional Intelligence guru (I’m sure my coworkers will tell you that!), and I’m sure that there are a million ways to get to healing, but I believe that intentionally working through our emotions with the Lord helps us to find rest, love, and radical acceptance.
So, how do we do it? How do we get past our triggering emotions and enter into to rest?
Feel what you are feeling. What emotions are coming up? What thoughts keep circling your mind? It’s so tempting to want to shut down sadness, grief, anger, or anything that’s not a happy emotion. It’s easy to dismiss our emotions thinking, “I’m just being dramatic,” or “I don’t want to be mad over that. I’m over it.” Emotions can make us feel very vulnerable, and that’s the last thing that we want to feel in certain situations, but I’m reminded of Hebrews 4, “For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin.” I love that Jesus can sympathize with our weaknesses, and that He has felt everything that we have felt, and knows how to overcome it.
Get honest, and bring it to the Lord. This can be done a number of ways including, verbally processing through prayer or through a form of writing (writing in a journal, using the Notes app on your phone, etc). Either way, this is the place to bring it ALL. I have learned to let this be the place where I do not hold back. This is the place where I bring raw emotion. If I’m angry, I tell the Lord just how angry I am. If I’m sad, I bring ALL of my sadness to him. If I’m without words, I sit and just cry because when “We do not know what we ought to pray for… the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans,” (Romans 8:26). Even in my wordlessness, the Holy Spirit stills knows how to intercede on my behalf.
Allow the Lord to speak. This is both my favorite part and the hardest part for me. Sometimes, I have this fear that I’m not going to like what the Lord wants to say. Sometimes, I’m afraid that my emotions are clouding my judgment, and I’m not going to hear Him properly, but He’s always so loving.
He’s not mean.
He’s not a jerk.
He’s not waiting to come down on us, letting us know what disappointments we are.
No, His nature is love.
“My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me,” (John 10:27).
So, that's my challenge for you this week: Take some time to sit with the Holy Spirit and bring something that's bothering you.
He's gentle with our pain.
He's careful with our hearts,
and He know how to guide us to healing.
Some homework…
Below, I have posted two videos:
The first is a guided prayer to help soften your heart as you enter into a time of hearing from the Lord.
The second is a video that has helped me with hearing the voice of the Lord in different seasons. It is a beautiful resource that I believe will help each of you, as well. I highly encourage you to carve out some time, grab a journal (or a piece of paper), and journal His voice.
